Let’s explore some clues that tell us Claire was being tricked and manipulated

He has learnt to not give out information about himself like his phone number, address or the school he attends. He generally only plays games online with people like his friends from his school or neighbourhood that he knows outside of the games he’s playing.

Recently, Jack started being messaged by a boy the same age as him called ‘Sam’ through an online game he was playing. He told Jack he had no friends at school and said other kids called him a loser and didn’t want to play with him.

‘Sam’ also told Jack that his parents had told him not to make friends with anyone he doesn’t really know, but Sam felt like that would mean he didn’t have any friends at all. ‘Sam’ was hoping Jack would be his friend and said that if Jack was his friend, they could play any games Jack wanted to.

Jack felt a little bit sorry for ‘Sam’ so he agreed to be friends.

Jack is kind and trusting and his parents are very proud of this.

However, we know that Jack broke the rules that he had agreed to at school and at home. Jack didn’t think that those rules applied to his interaction with ‘Sam’ because he thought ‘Sam’ and he were the same age.

Unfortunately for Jack, ‘Sam’ is not 7 years old. ‘Sam’ is much older and knew what he needed to say to convince Jack to let down his guard and how to get over the hurdles that Jack and the people in his safety circle had put in place.

Whenever Charlotte sees a dog in her neighborhood, she stops and plays with it for a little while, as long as the owner says it’s OK.

Charlotte spends a lot of time scrolling through Instagram searching for posts of dogs. Because of this, Charlotte’s mum made sure all privacy settings were in place to protect her from strangers following or contacting her.

These privacy settings give Charlotte control over who followers her, and she often gets requests from people she doesn’t know outside of Instagram to follow her. Charlotte rarely declines these new follow requests, even though she knows she is supposed to.
One day, Charlotte was outside of her house and saw a puppy. She starting playing with it as she usually would. The owner introduced herself and said that her name was Ava. They talked for a little bit about dogs and Ava asked Charlotte if she was on Instagram. Charlotte said that she was and shared her Instagram handle with Ava so she could request to follow her.

As soon as she saw the request, Charlotte accepted. She felt it was ok because she had met Ava and they had a shared interest in dogs.

Of course, this situation might be OK. We don’t want to scare our kids and over-emphasise the dangers of social media and the internet because we know that won’t help. As adults what we need to be able to do is see the risks, understand how they may play out and manage them to support and protect children and young people.
For Charlotte, there were risks because she was convinced by a stranger to break the rules that she and her mum had agreed on. She did that easily because:

Ava was not a stranger because they met in person

Ava was nice to her

They had dogs in common so they were starting to be friends

Perpetrators know how to get children and young people to let their guard down. They study kids and learn from other perpetrators. They learn how kids behave and try little tests to see how their tactics work.

Before we consider the risks that children and young people may face on the internet, let’s talk about what keeps them safe and where you might sit in their safety circles.

The signs of online child sexual abuse and exploitation are not always easy to identify. Children and young people may not understand the risks, but by knowing the signs we can support their understanding.

Everyone in the safety circle of a child or observing a child at risk of online sexual abuse can take some actions to prevent, report or help with next steps of recovery of exploitation. Let’s have a look at these simple actions and resources to help.